


Give Me Hope

by clar_ji



Category: Topp Dogg (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4444277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clar_ji/pseuds/clar_ji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyosang can't seem to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give Me Hope

Hyosang sighs deeply as he looks as his phone. He waits, hesitates, sighs again. Unlocks it, opens his messages and then locks it again.

He runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated. He's tired but he can't sleep, can't stop thinking. Can't stop worrying. Another sigh escapes his lips. He unlocks his phone again and types in the contact, _seokjin_.

He stops. Seokjin's doing well. Just finished their promotions. Wonderful song, wonderful choreo, wonderful promoting. He can't bother him with his troubles. It's late.

He locks his phone again and lays it on his table, face down. He lies down and turns away from the phone.

A moment passes. He turns again.

He gets up, takes his phone and heads for their small dorm kitchen.

He's surprised to see Sangwon, writing, a cup of milk near him. He sees random words on paper, random phrases, and not so random names.

"Can't sleep?" He asks.

Sangwon looks up and smiles faintly. Sadly. "What would you have, hyung? Milk? Coffee?" He offers.

Hyosang sits in front of him. "Water," he says.

Sangwon stands and gets him a glass. Hyosang's back to staring at his phone when the glass is put down near him.

"Thanks," he says. Then sighs.

Sangwon is quiet. Observes Hyosang. Hyosang drinks some of the ice cold water.

"Just text him, hyung," Sangwon says. He's not chiding, just suggesting.

"It's my problem, Sangwonnie," Hyosang replies.

"This is what friends are for. This is what best friends are for." Sangwon reminds him. He sighs. The maknae has always been mature for his age. And he's right. This is what friends are for.

He unlocks his phone. The message box is still open. He types, _hey_. Clicks send.

He locks it. Doesn't expect a reply.

"Doesn't that make you feel at least a little bit better?" Sangwon asks.

Hyosang smiles. "Thank you."

Sangwon shrugs, understands.

"Go to sleep soon," Hyosang says, standing up. Sangwon salutes and Hyosang goes back to his bed.

He lays his phone on his bedside again, facing up. He lies down facing it. He sighs, forces himself to feel even the least bit sleepy. He fails.

Then his phone lights up. He almost jumps, grabs his phone.

_< <are you ok?_

Typical. Seokjin always seemed to see right through him. Even with just one word.

He stares at the message, thinks about what to reply.

_I miss you. It's been so... difficult. I wish I never left. I'm sorry._

It takes him around five minutes tops.

_ >>can you go out? _

_ <<of course _

_ <<meet you at the usual in ten? _

_> >yeah_

He sighs, now in relief. He puts on pants and a jacket, quietly, careful not to wake the others especially Sehyuk. He puts his phone in his pocket and goes to check on Sangwon.

The maknae's already asleep, ink blotching his hands. He goes back in the room and takes his blanket, drapes it over the maknae.

He leaves, locks the door on his way out.

 

When he reaches the park, the park where they always end up meeting, Seokjin's already there, humming to a popular American song. He's sitting at the bench farthest from the lampost and it's almost too dark but Hyosang sees him clearly. Hyosang's chest feels lighter already.

"Hey," he says as he sits down beside Seokjin.

Seokjin takes out his earphones and smiles at Hyosang.

Yep, he's definitely feeling better already. But not enough. He doesn't know what to say.

"Sorry, I had you come out at one in the morning," he starts. Seokjin shakes his head. "Seokjin, I..."

"I read a lot of stuff online," Seokjin cuts him off, gets straight to the point. He was never one for small talk anyway. "It's awful, you know."

"I do," he whispers. He knows Seokjin is talking about the company, their supposed hard earned money, their canceled shows and delayed comebacks.

"It must be tough on all of you."

"Everyone's trying so hard. We're really at a loss," he sighs and slumps in his seat. Seokjin does the same. They're quiet.

"And about that show.." Seokjin says. He's urging him to talk about it. To let it all out. He's saying, I'm here to listen, I'm here for you. Hyosang is grateful.

He gives in. "Sangwon has been more upset about that, I'm fine, honestly but Sangwon.." he trails off. "He was so excited and he worked extra hard. I mean, I didn't like what happened too, it was shitty, but I can handle. I mean who cares about the feelings of two rappers from a nugu, right?"

Seokjin's heart breaks. He shakes his head.

"Anyway, I'm glad your promotions went well, by the way," Hyosang offers a smile.

"Thank you," Seokjin says. He pauses, Hyosang waits. Then he says, "I wish you never left."

They're quiet again. Until Hyosang whispers, "Me too." He drops his head on Seokjin's shoulder. Seokjin bumps it with his own lightly, comfortingly.

They imagine it, debuting together. They'd be everyone's OTP. Because they were best friends, they're the closest. In time, Hyosang would be able to gather enough courage to confess, Seokjin would say it was about time Hyosang made a move. They would be able to spend every day together, making music, having fun, doing what they want to do.

There wouldn't have to be sneaking out nor unsaid feelings nor staying as best friends. They wouldn't have to miss each other or love each other silently, without doing anything about it.

"I'm sorry," Hyosang whispers again. Even more quiet. So soft that Seokjin almost didn't hear it.

"Don't be," Seokjin says. He shifts, Hyosang lifts his head from Seokjin's shoulder, so they can look at each other properly. "You can get through this, all of you." His eyes are firm, like he wants his words embedded into Hyosang's mind.

Hyosang can only nod. Nod until he doesn't look at Seokjin. Nod until tears are slipping from his eyes.

He's so tired.

And Seokjin, beautiful, patient, understanding Seokjin, gathers him and places his head back on his shoulder, a shoulder to cry on. He wraps his arms around Hyosang's neck as Hyosang let's it all out, until it slowly dies out and Hyosang is able to mumble an _i love you_.

Seokjin nods. Hyosang lifts his head, shakes it, says he's sorry again. Seokjin shakes his head, says an _i love you_ back _but you know we can't_ he adds. Hyosang nods, understands, feels the same way.

 _Maybe in time_ is left unsaid. But they know it. They'll be waiting.

Seokjin leaves and comes back with ice cream. He tells Hyosang about what insanity Namjoon and Hoseok and Taehyung have been up to. Hyosang laughs. They finish their ice cream.

Then they say their goodbyes. Their smiles are more genuine.

This is what best friends are for.

They can only wish they were something more. But they take what they can have.

 

Hyosang gets back to their dorm. Sangwon's not in the kitchen anymore. He goes back to bed, quiet.

He unlocks his phone and stares.

_> >thank you_

He sends. Doesn't wait for a reply. Lays his phone face down on his bedside table and turns away from it.

He finally gets to sleep.

 

_< <anything for you, Sang_

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for my own satisfaction because I felt like writing sad KSJHS in light of the on going fandom drama. 
> 
> Title from New Politics' song of the same title. 
> 
> Welp, I hope you guys liked it? Not sure if all the aspects of the fic was clear, though. Please do tell me what you think.
> 
> 2016 edit: Well. Didn't Hyosang disappoint me big time. Hah. I thought about deleting this because well, Hyosang effed up, okay and I wasn't okay with that. But I decided I liked this one so...


End file.
